Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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