I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
