It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
