part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
