Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
