The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
