drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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