It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
