Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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