we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
