For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
