I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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