fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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