At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
