Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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