Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
