whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
