I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize