Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
