I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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