I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
