that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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