To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
