You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
