Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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