this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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