Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
