btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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