im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize