My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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