Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
