Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
