is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The feeling are messing with the penis
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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