My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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