Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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