eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
