I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
