I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
