Pappa wants mamma naked
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
