She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
