It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
