i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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