I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
