I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
high people should be assigned attendants
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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