Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
