I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
