I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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