sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
