dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
