The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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