Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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