Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
