she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She said her name was "party"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
