he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
