worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
