Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
