I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize