Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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